Instead of feeding homeless children and giving blood, I… You know exactly where I'm going to go with this.

UPDATE: Too dry and stringy! I nearly choked on Paige's hair extensions and homeless lady clothing layers. I should have washed her down with some Mexican Gokey.

PAIGE!!!
OM NOM NOM NOM

Mexican Gokey can be delicious. They're really tender when they're young, and you want to eat them alive because they emit toxins that spoil the flesh when they die. Just sear them lightly, about enough to give a second degree burn and then slurp them down. I thought the screams were distracting at first, but it's…

Kirstie Alley should do an episode of my show.
But she can leave her diet drink at home. She's all I need.

I don't know about punching, but I've been just dying to swallow Kevin Covais whole. He might wriggle a bit on the way down, but that's just part of the culinary experience.