Enjoy your clams, cocksuckers.

I'm pretty sure our future progeny will take Gangs of New York to the cavemen, and that's how we got civilization.

"Jesus Condom" is a real person.

If the bill that forces us to buy inadequate health insurance is the most momentous piece of legislation of this generation, then this generation really fucking sucks.

I was afraid they all went gluten-free.

Indians do not approve of "houses." I speak for the Three Rivers tribe of the Algonquin confederacy.

I just came from the mensroom at the Minneapolis airport, and boy is it crowded in there.

He's actually a religious legume.

I represent the North American Association for the Appreciation of Gallinules, Salamanders, Leeches, Egrets & Turtles (NAAAGSLET) and we find your negative characterization of swamp creatures demeaning.

As a man I am offended by your use of the term "balls out."

That vagina was made in Brazil.

What do you people have against bread?

Demean women are de worst kind.

Vaginii.

There was a little ass eating at that manger, too.

What camp is that, exactly? Camp Athabasca? How's the fishing?

Is it really unreasonable to suggest that perhaps Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann are a couple of cartoonish attention whores who say stupid things in public and are thus fair game for satirical assault, while the regular American women being attacked for wanting birth control covered by their insurance plans are not…

"Cunt" is quite demeaning as well.

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"Knock up" is a demeaning term.