Of course we only bring water. Who am I, Rockefeller?

Mondale didn't just win his native Minnesota…
He won the District of Columbia!

I especially liked the part when the light of God descended upon him through the trees, and from that moment on, George W. Bush was a born-again Christian—a real live genuine sincere true-believer Christian!

Don't worry. If she sees your boner, she'll pardon it.

I actually have a crush on both of them so seeing them combined as one is really, really fascinating.

One of my substitute teachers in high school was originally from Connecticut and he knew Lieberman. The funny thing is, the sub was an eldery gay man and his accent was basically Lois Griffin with a lisp and he told us this long story about how he and Liberman danced together at a Jewish wedding, which is something…

Cool bra story.

Salman Dissing in Yemen.

Take it in the bass!

I think people are taking political correctness a bit too far when it suddenly becomes unreasonable to suggest that certain American Indians may have been kind of funny-looking from time to time.

He looks a lot like a real Dog Soldier.

University of Minnesota Duluth hockey fans were reprimanded for chanting "SMALL POX BLANK-ETS!!! cha! cha! cha! cha-cha! SMALL POX BLANK-ETS!!! cha! cha! cha! cha-cha!" during a recent game against the University of North Dakota fighting Sioux.

The eagle never lost so much time as when he submitted to learn of the crow.

Stupid fucking white man.

Viable?
Vhat? Yes! Viable!
Vi not a bull?

As a vegetarian/occasional vegan, I love torturing my 2.5 million-year old genetically omnivorous heritage with indigestible cellulose and soy products (which up until a few years ago was mainly grown for use as an ingredient in paint and cardboard), because eating animals is mean, apparently.

This is why we don't win wars.

Bad English teeth comes from tea, man. I'm figuring that out right now.

Granola would be pretty good in cereal bar-form.

ALL HAIL KING VITAMIN!!!!