Sarah Jessica Parker went in for a nose job and kept asking them to take a little more off. Whoaaaaaaa, Nelly!

Damn your eyes! I'm feeling generous, so I'll let you have it back if you like.

Aaaawwwwww, shut up, ya Guinea brat!

It's nothing personal. Only business.

I demand to see the rest of that picture, to find something for scale to prove that that's really Michael Fassbender, and not a picture of some random Fassbenderite Leprechaun.

O'Neal's lace curtain.

I'd be up for either way, myself. Since the man is Irish, I would flip a coin and say: "Call it, O'Friend."

Not only was he thrilled about MLK's assassination, but he recorded a spoken-word country album about it with lots of schmaltzy strings in the background and he won 7 Grammies for it.

In the old days they used to let the crewmen and extras vote for Oscar nominees. Walter Brennan won 4 Oscars (more than any other actor!) because he was always courteous and friendly with the underlings.

What's up with this Phil "Dyess-Nugent" crap? Is that some kind of ethnic thing?

Hi Ho Silverceratops!!!!!!!

"Depends," indeed. Ha!

If only there were some way to reverse a nipple's inversion.

He also left a stethoscope, half a bottle of Scotch, and a full grown hare inside his torso whilst operating.

No, it's heroin.

I think her maid was a hybrid.

Guh-hyuck.

Yeah, how the hell do you force someone to eat rat poison?

It was a tradition WHICH JUST SO HAPPENED to tie up a bunch of loose ends and function as a sappy little happy-ending plot device, kind of like how the Spanish Flu JUST SO HAPPENS to pop up out of nowhere and strike inconvenient fiancees down in a matter of minutes.

"The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" is the one with scary ghost stories.