Obama should've won the Newberry Medal for The Audacity of Hope, though.

I have no objection to Norah Jones. What I object to is pelting her with a barrage of miniature gramophones every time she opens her mouth.

En Francais, c'est "Les Gays."

Did you ever hear the one about the runaway pancake?

Not that I speak from any non-gay experience, or anything.

Someone should get the anagram machine running for that one.

Remember Norah Jones?

That's what I thought, bitch. 4real.

"I came…Santorum…and…Yikes!"

There's nothing gay about chasing trannies.

I know you are but what am I?

Ratner: "We all share the same humanity."
Yali from New Guinea: "It's a cookbook."

By sending them to the Bachman Clinic.

There it is.

Obama has a Grammy.

HOWDIGEBURND HOWDIGEBURND HOWDIGEBURND!!!!

*stares lovingly at Bad Gateway with tongue sort of sticking out between lips

And I tell you now, it would be easier for a Big Book of Butts to fit through the Bad Disqus Gateway than for a VanDerTurf to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

And heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee will always love that bodyguaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!

I saw that. I was…taken aback, to say the least.