I found a troglodyte in a Precambrian Upper Mississippi River Valley limestone formation the other day.

"Bon Iver's Justin Vernon."

Is this really the kind of thing that modern American grown-ups do? I mean, don't you have any fucking drywall to hang? Go check your spark plugs or something. This is why we don't win wars.

THERE'S A WHOLE OCEAN OF DAWES UNDER OUR FEET AND NO ONE CAN GET AT IT EXCEPT FOR ME!!!!

3,241 years of recorded history, and the human race finally ran out of things to say. It doesn't seem all that odd when you think about it. I mean, it was bound to happen. Where are the flying cars? We live in a finite world. If you think infinite growth is possible in a finite world, you're either a madman or an…

Where's Pierce?
Starz was the best.
Whatever happened to Jorge Van Salsa?

POLAND NEEDS BRACES

I just realized it isn't pronounced "da wes."

Private Crawley! Stand at attention!

Read it on Wikipaedia.

Heigl: I'm a Private Investigator, no divorce work.
Client: I have a divorce job for you.
Heigl: I don't do divorce work.
Client: I can pay you money.
Heigl: Alright, I'll take it. But there better not be any murder, blackmail, flunky prizefighters, insurance policies, or deception involved.
Client: Just divorce work.
Heigl:…

I read elsewhere that the third season will contain a "Catholic story line," which probably means that Mr. and Mrs. Branson will prefer to spend their honeymoon under an Irish sky than at Suvla or Sud el Bar.

Historic Headlines from the Times of London, July 29, 1918:

Yeah, but it's England. Not Scotland.

That baby had the biggest fucking head I've ever seen. He could've been listed in the credits at Charles Brown Bryant.

What kind of ethnic are they supposed to be? I'll bet their real name is Pluminsky.

I don't know about her heart, but her eyes are set on the side of her head, which means she's either half Mon Calamari or some sort of Iroquois Deer Woman. At any rate she is not to be trusted.

Alonzo's gonna have yall's ass.

Your badge AND your GUN, LIEUTENANT!

Crime novelists often better cops than cops, says area Fillion.