All of America could've prevented 9/11 if more people had voted for Gore.

THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS!!!!!

Lincoln had a tan from splitting rails.

"Gay issues don't exactly have much to do with the executive branch. Start with your state legislators, buddy."

Hi!

Now he wants us to cut down the tallest tree in the forest with a herring.

People are mad that he hasn't pulled out of Afghanistan yet because his own Defense Secretary said there's only a "few dozen" al Qaeda fighters left. It's kind of like General Miles sending a quarter of the US Army into Mexico to root out Geronimo and his band of 30 Apache renegades, as in: A WASTE OF FUCKING TIME AND…

I think the unrealistic expectations were partly a self-deceiving defense mechanism against the outlandish claims made by Republicans, trying to paint him as foreign or exotic or socialist or someone who pals around with terrorists, when in fact his real record suggested he was a pretty unremarkable centrist who was…

He's half-white, you know.

The Centrists are coming!!! The Centrists are coming!!!!

I would buy the book on tape if Maggie Smith narrated it.

Our FIRST black president, or WORST black president?

Alicia Keys has a husband?

I'm afraid to ask, but what the fuck is a "Gaupload?"

RUSSELL MEANS FOR HEAD CHIEF 2012

What we need is upward-scrolling eyeballs!

No matter how you spin it, the whales are the only good guys.

The "private sector" creates babies, not jobs.

Perry's out. This is the first thing he's ever lost. Including his virginity.

@avclub-33beffd09a1b020d1187c6b4b264014a:disqus  Don't you mean Edward DeVere's sister?