"They're journalists, essentially."

Dear AV Club,

Jack and Bobby's Bogus Journey*

Starship Robocops From Outer Space!

You'd fit right in at Penn State.

I'd wick her in the sedges any day.

Baby Jesus doesn't give a shit.

People like those new Batman films?

I'll take a 1960's-era group of boy sopranos over Dawes any day.

They ain't even the Nappy Roots, either.

"You. Flock of Seagulls. Speak up."

They should've played the theme to Jeopardy! instead.

Community.

You enjoyed flunking out of med school?

Yukon Do It, that's who!

Jesus doesn't like to build houses!

Nothing's wrong with the ostrich cowboy, either. I always wanted an ostrich. A neighbor of mine raised emus and I was incessantly jealous during my 4H years. All I ever had was a bunch of goose-raping turkeys.

Something tells me you're not like all the other elves, Craig.

Using a Colt .45 against a Bumble would be like using a Red Ryder carbine-action 200 shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock against Werner Herzog. It is not a significant bullet.

Donner alway threw the best parties. The venison was delicious.