[phone rings while McClane is interrogating suspect] "WHAT??!? … … … Hi, ma."

My strongest memory of this album is that when "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" would come on the radio, I would sing along and try to imitate Billy Corgan's voice. Our eldest cat took offense to that, and he would come running and pace around me yowling in despair. Then the younger cat would follow him out and start…

Edited to remove reading-comprehension failure. Unless "Eddie" is the Russian version of "Ken".

Ar, go'n fuck yerself.

The Big Lebowski one's missing a "the", too. At least it's not also missing the "with".

A.V. Club
Of course, I have no tolerance for {this artistic genre} and haven't {experienced} any of {this artist's work}. So what the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.

If the cleat fits…

Joe Dimaggio, even with all the sadness that entails.

Some of those puns weren't even current, but I at least salute your dynamism.

I think we need to shock you out of this endless circuit you seem to be on.

Aw, I was hoping for "MACAQUE".

I don't necessarily disagree. But then I would also call bridge "euchre crossed with a mortgage signing".

Ditto, and then one day at college, someone rounded up two other people who "knew" how to play, and it was the most tedious, rule-infested, hard-to-follow card game I have ever experienced. We played one round and then went back to euchre, never to speak of bridge again.

Have you tried Bennifying your wedding video? (Or was that already the background music?)

I don't appreciate the caravelier tone of this thread.

Just make sure you get a new one. After multiple viewings, the Braille dots tend to get lacquered over to the point of smoothness.

"Hello, yes, Mr. LittleBigBot? I'm calling to ask, is, uh… is your Disqus server running?"

[checks Supreme Court decision; watches Some Like It Hot one last time; puts on wig and buys plane ticket to New York]

I AM NOT AN UNDERGRADUATE. I AM… A *HUMAN BEING*!!!

Look at that face! Who would want that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next… [looks at ad with American Apparel model… … looks more… divorces wife, marries American Apparel model]