[switches to YouPorn tab until @avclub-a47cbe66c8ef5ec4ec54aea47c6ef401:disqus finishes]

And my rapper name is 2Long(By2x+)2Fit.

What you see's nothing. I got a Balinese dancing girl tattooed across my chest.

It's an obvious forgery of a Howie Mandel. Looks like someone mixed up inches and centimeters or something.

I was traveling, and had left my AV Club Punwriters Stylebook at home.

Hey, some are born the Marian type, and some are made Marian.

All your memes are *used* to belonging to us. Since end of Cold War, previously-nationalized memes are being "privatized" and are now belong to former KGB chiefs.

A great oral history of Airplane just came off the Newswire. AV Club Commenters, what do you make out of this?

You've just voided your gender anonymity — quick, edit your comment!

Which in turn inherited from British common law, where the Mammara Carta established the right of Old Man to chase and harass topless women accompanied by Yakety Sax.

"On the lam in Canada" doesn't really qualify as a home address.

I also endorse her downbeat cover of Britney Spears' Toxic on the same album.

And lollipops!

What is that watermelon doing in Denver?

AV Club
{commenter} added to government watch list

Surely you weren't watching any of these shows.

Please! This is supposed to be a happy sad occasion! Let's not bicker and argue over who massacred who!

By the end of the war, it was only wafer-thin.

Barsanti Big-Booty?!

WTF indeed, Internet. WTF?