*leaves Stratocaster leaning against front of Marshall stack turned all the way up*

God, I fucking believed him when he said two years. I feel so GULLIBLE!

Years ago, soon after the local NPR "alternative" station began airing, when I realized that they would play the Eagles of Death Metal multiple multiple times a day, but would never, ever, not even at three in the morning, play any actual death metal, that was a mildly depressing thing.

they don't even growl

Research shows that it takes exactly nine and one half ounces of whiskey to override the urge to turn the channel when "Livin' on the Edge" starts playing on MTV.

Or a whole first time.

Leather jogging pants.

It's the stick he hit Carly Simon with. He takes it with him everywhere.

Five sequoia years.

My daughter is going as a zombie, with a blood-splattered second-hand princess dress that some other girl's mom gave her to fit in at a princess-themed birthday party. I made a zombie mask for her to wear and she kept saying "More fake blood!" "More fake blood!"

I remember wanting to see the Big Red One for a similar reason.

mambolenol

Dmm de-dmm, just hanging out with Kerry King, bullshitting about horror movies… ho hum…

Come on that's not fair! He did way more than merely sympathize!

Just wait until celebrity shit tapes become a thing.

Some people don't like it.

nay

This fucking city is full of ______________ [noun]

I hope they got a LOT of fucking money for that one.

I played that song with my three-year-old son in the minivan the other week. He kind of liked it.