That sounds like the perfect college job.

I'm not interested in either of the definitions that come to mind.

I'm not interested in either of the definitions that come to mind.

I run a movie theatre. I get to work at 5pm, which is when normal people are thinking about dinner. Tonight I had some popcorn and Dots for dinner and I'm washing it down with some Pibb because caffeine. The problem is that I'm not 17 anymore. Oh, wait? This is about food we actually like? I'll be honest: I still…

I run a movie theatre. I get to work at 5pm, which is when normal people are thinking about dinner. Tonight I had some popcorn and Dots for dinner and I'm washing it down with some Pibb because caffeine. The problem is that I'm not 17 anymore. Oh, wait? This is about food we actually like? I'll be honest: I still…

Mr. Final Girl never tires of giving me a funny look when I say I'd like Five Guys.

Mr. Final Girl never tires of giving me a funny look when I say I'd like Five Guys.

Wow. That's, um, a lot of math. Is it okay if I just continue to think of it as "far away stuff is blurrier than close-up stuff"?

Wow. That's, um, a lot of math. Is it okay if I just continue to think of it as "far away stuff is blurrier than close-up stuff"?

Ballbusting?

Ballbusting?

That's 800 people spread over 6 shows, so the absurdity might lie in its smallness. And there is a small chance I exaggerate the response to this trailer. But it WAS overwhelmingly enthusiastic.

That's 800 people spread over 6 shows, so the absurdity might lie in its smallness. And there is a small chance I exaggerate the response to this trailer. But it WAS overwhelmingly enthusiastic.

Aw, no worries. Unlike feminists, I have a sense of humor.

Aw, no worries. Unlike feminists, I have a sense of humor.

Hey, no lie, I might considering wearing ugly-ass glasses that would turn me into Mr. Bean.

Hey, no lie, I might considering wearing ugly-ass glasses that would turn me into Mr. Bean.

I actually did chuckle out loud at that. After another cup of coffee, I am more awake and I came look and realize that, yeah, those glasses are ridiculous.

I actually did chuckle out loud at that. After another cup of coffee, I am more awake and I came look and realize that, yeah, those glasses are ridiculous.

Every single person in my theatre who saw this trailer (about 800 of them) wanted to see this movie. Myself included. So there's that.