Buy a used copy of Film Art: An Introduction and you'd be up to the average Dissolve-commenter level by the first 3 chapters.

You don't need to be royalty to get hemophilia, you just need to be inbred as fuck

How…how closely related were this roommate's parents?

What you do around kids is talk to them like they're normal human beings (who can only hear PG-rated language). The kids younger than 10 will get weirded out and leave you alone, and the kids 10 and older will love you and tell you some truly hilarious shit.

Isn't the very first scene of Rick and Morty's first season the scene where Rick wakes Morty up in the middle of the night, makes him go up in Rick's spaceship, and offers to drop a bomb that would extinguish all human life on the planet, but passes out before he can go through with it? I think it started out pretty…

I happened to catch The Matrix Reloaded a few months ago for the first time since I was in high school, and it really clicked what went wrong with it: the entire movie is the same three scenes repeated over and over.

"Having this baby together has certainly been a positive and interesting experience, my spouse and acting co-worker."

Hmm… mediocre use of "this is the hill you want to die on" (it's much better to use this one when the person involved has posted more that one single comment on the subject, or is engaging with it at all), but pretty good use of condescending nickname with "bud." I give you 1.72 Rhetoric Points.

The username synergy is strong in this one.

Aw, I still like "Bad Reputation" and the Rufus Wainwright song.

You took "there is a strain of hatred in feminism, which at times seems justified" and changed it to "feminism is hateful." That you seems to find no appreciable difference between these sentiments really sums up a lot of the frustration commenters direct at you. Because either you are willfully misrepresenting other…

Nella Larsen might disagree.

Speakin' of diminishing returns, looks like we got ourselves an older teenager who just read Nietzsche. Okay! This is the moment we've been preparing for! Validation is important when kids are stepping outside the nest, so let's be sure to act interested and adopt a tone of voice that stays cheerful without sounding…

So 12 Monkeys is still at 7:30? Or La Jetee begins at 7:30, followed by 12 Monkeys?

And he wouldn't even need the birth certificate, am I right?

I would watch a Shenmue movie with Zach Braff as the writer, director, and lead actor. I might even pay money for such an experience.

Yes, apparently one of their more famous shouting matches occurred during the shooting of Holy Grail, when Gilliam had asked for about 32 takes of the "Trojan Rabbit" shot- and keep in mind, it was NOT the somewhat cinematic shot where the giant wooden rabbit is pushed up to the gates (which would make sense to get…

Every time he asks the contestants to bid on an item, they all have to fight to the death. Last one standing gets to play a game.

Wasn't Paz Lenchantin also the bassist for Zwan? Apparently she specializes in backing up bald alt-rock frontmen. That's a good plan; I imagine that it's a growth industry.

"[Giancarlo] Giannini has always had sad eyes, never sadder than in his big scene here." - from Roger Ebert's review of Hannibal.