4. Internet commenters immediately cheer up when the next episode review comes up and you're not making the same complaint in 20 different posts.

If HBO has a CEO of Tits, I have to conclude that ABC has at least a Senior Vice President of Jiggle.

I think it's Damon Wayans Jr. love plus the fact that Coach was the only character in the pilot who seemed to already have a pretty good comic dynamic with Jess, so people figure that if he comes back in, they might pick up where they left off.

Sorry, I don't get that. Can someone explain it to me?

I think the exclamation mark already represents a pause, so the comma is redundant. So just remove the comma, keep the exclamation mark. Same thing if you end a quotation with a question mark. Both represent pauses as well as inflections, so you don't need a punctuation mark that only represents a pause.

He also had a plastic toy gun above his real policeman's gun.

Man, fuck The New Yorker.

Sorry Phil, but based on how you, somebody who sounds pretty disgusted with Spano's actions and lack of remorse, is describing those actions and that lack of remorse, I would probably be in his corner too. Given the various creative ways other owners tend to fuck over fans (e.g. threatening to leave town if taxpayers…

and if they are women, by "home" we mean "the kitchen."

Yeah, weird that a show written by a woman who's spent at least 10 years of her life in a TV writer's room would center around a woman who mostly works with men…

Well, stupid people are pretty cool. You'd think they'd be freaked out about not knowing too much stuff, but they seem totally okay with it!

Oh, her name's Beverly? Yeah, I thought it was obvious I was talking about her. Maybe I should have named her WhiteNurse McFillsInTheBackground. Or is that unnecessarily anti-Irish? Commenting on the internet is hard.

They should fire Dr. British and Nurse FillsInTheBackground if they need more room.

Things that were good about this episode:
- Mindy and Peter finally get an established character dynamic, and one that seems like it could be a lot of fun (they both want to be in charge, and all the other characters are passive enough to go along with either one).
- Morgan and Ray-Ron's extremely unimpressive fight,…

"My favorite part is when the guy begins to discover his whole life is a lie."

Yes, New Girl certainly isn't about giving people and things weird random names.

If I see a girl wearing that costume this Halloween, I'm definitely making a huge fool of myself. It doesn't even matter that she took it from a TV show, because it's a pretty great TV show.

If they think a guy might break up with them because he needs to do better at sex, why would they want to be with him in the first place? What are they thinking, "Oh no, I might not get to have terrible sex with a sociopath anymore?"

Why hasn't Jackie Chan done an Expendables-style movie where he plays a 60-year-old man who can still kick ass? He could hilariously fight his way out of a retirement home using walkers, cafeteria trays, and catheter tubes.

There's a point just before he grabs the ladder, when he's still trying to disarm all four of his assailants one at a time, where the choreography becomes so rapid and complex that my brain just starts registering it as a form of abstract expressionism. I can barely tell what Chan is doing, and the extras are coming…