Exactly!  Leave Joe alone!  This is probably the most face time he's ever gotten with a girl!  I would totally forget about every member of my family were I in his situation at that age.

@avclub-c156902f5b20b572848be18c11634dfb:disqus I might find them scary if I forgot that they were being handled by people who have no reason to shoot me, and who would have plenty of reasons not to shoot me even if they did want to. Being afraid that every person I meet with a gun is going to be that 0.0001% of…

Yes, that rant is a good reminder that most of Dr. Cox's rants are for his own amusement and are not actually that personal or hurtful.  When he wants you to feel it, you'll feel it.

"I could never move to a place where people are just allowed to walk
around outside with guns on them and that's totally acceptable. Freaks
me the fuck out."

@avclub-e57f718840a576abbb40a7d046c4e3b0:disqus Couldn't you just have said "Oh, I did plenty of jerking off to Holocaust pictures in the library, just none with any nudity?"

THE AUDIENCE GOETHE

@RantersGonnaRant:disqus obviously she *should have*; the girl you asked out should have clarified what she meant by "go out with you" as well.  But women are allowed to be awkward at navigating the murky waters of teenage relationships, too, and often are.  It's just that the dominant social dynamics of high school…

*starts taking notes* I…THINK (important!)…I…might (also important!)…be…kind of (this too!)…falling…

Suddenly those CW classes at Yale seem a lot sadder.

This review definitely needed 8 or 9 more sentences devoted to the critic's opinion of The Descendants.  As it is, I really can't figure out what he thought about that film.

Paul Feig definitely intended us to cringe at that moment.  I have a feeling the writers went into this episode with the goal of making two characters kiss, and getting the audience to say "oh no" rather than "awwww."

"Oh, this guy is being strangled with a bike lock…" *yawns, changes channel*

Chicago is the expected citation style when writing love letters.  For "Do you like me? Check one" notes, use APA.

@avclub-e57f718840a576abbb40a7d046c4e3b0:disqus So if I wanted to apply to Columbia, I could claim I was a minority?

Spoiler Alert: The producers actually planted a malignant tumor in the actor's brain at the beginning of shooting.  Expect him to get REALLY good at playing unhinged in a few episodes.

@avclub-beac60e274e63c64612fdcff2058af27:disqus based on King's own account of the novel, it wasn't "tossed off" so much as "written during a point in my life when I was just happy to be alive and writing, and also probably under the influence of some heavy-duty pain medication."  His two post-crash books, From a…

I think this show had Season 4 Ryan planned in the back of their minds, at least.

Speaking of unnecessary sequels no one wanted…

Isildur originally claims the One Ring as "wergild for the death of my father and brother."  After I'd taken a class that covered Beowulf, I was much more capable of appreciating the implications of that word being used.

Scalia's not a rugby fan?