It was a brontosaurus with a wig that somehow made it from Maryland to Mobile in 12-16 hours.

Joe Carroll . . . 
Last week - "Claire needs to die at sea to complete my story"This week - "I took a boat, through water, but didn't kill her at sea."
Next week - "I survived by hiding in that boat in the boathouse."
The week after - "Emma was actually a brontosaurus when I first met her"

I was waiting for her to hang up, go to Google Maps on the phone, and figure out exactly where she was then call them back.

My girlfriend made me feel horrible for laughing at this.  She also thinks Joe died.