Rocky VII: Adrian's Revenge was pretty good.

I've always read the bible as a work of science fiction.

Have you ever seen a 1962 Italian movie called Mafioso? There is a chilling scene in a Sicilian church in the end that kind of sums it all up.

No, no, I don't look like a douchebag. This hat is from the 80s.

Eddie Murphy to you…

I have to wait until after the golden age to shine.

The Gameological Society!

Bees?

Five, five, five, five, table five…table five.

Grazie, grazie. You have brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype.

It's like he's on some wonderful drug.

Cheerfully withdrawn.

"Squalid hellhole"? "Toilet paper hung in improper overhand fashion"? "Dogs mating on dining room table"?

*car door slams, car accelerates, brakes, stops at Flanders*

The pirate Flint captured many other galleons, killing over five-hundred men in cold blood. He would tear the captain's hearts out and swallow them whole, often forcing his victims to eat their own lips. He was caught and imprisoned… for tax evasion.

His real name is Eddie Lawrence, but he's from Monroe, LA, so
everyone calls him that.

Is that title supposed to be some kind of letter based pun?

There was a 12-toed guy on our wrestling team. It's one of those things you would never notice unless you had to strip down and get on a scale every week. I've seen thousands of dudes weigh in, and he was the only person I ever saw to have extra digits, plus the only one ever to weigh in with a chubber.

Scrawler 61839 comments

*kicks leprechaun*
"IRISH SUCK, VOTE FOR DUKE"