He's writing avant-garde commercials for Chik-Fil-A.

Now I totally get why he quit Community.

Didn't David Wain already do this in The Ten?

He said Kanye West is near.

"Aaaahhhh…! Now, there's the inflated sense of self-esteem."

No worries, concealed carry is legal in all 50 states.

Just my luck, I keep getting punched by poor people.

I was in the ER one time and met a guy from County Cork who had found some drug addict trying to break into his rental car with a crow bar. He grabbed the bar and proceeded to break the dude's arm in three places(amongst other things). Of course, the guilt kicked in, so he got in the ambulance and went to the hospital…

Forget that, just go full Oldboy on him.

Well, of course, it's premeditated. You think Kanye can't afford to hire someone to punch people in the face for him? Why he wants this kind of garbage press is beyond me.

If someone punches you in the face, is it illegal to punch back? Having someone shout N-bombs at me sounds just about as offensive as being punched.
Of course, on the other hand, one of the local racists in my neighborhood told me just yesterday that the blacks have been using violence to solve their disputes for a…

Wait, it's illegal to punch someone for insulting you?

How about if you cut the food porn?

She cut off her own head with a scythe while bricked into her study.

*salutes Curmudgahideen*

Dude had a combover at age 12.

2) and incest.
3) same thing here!

Whats's that rattle?

And good luck with, uh… with the whole thing, there. ….

I guessed either Maggie or Smithers because I thought the writers would go for the least likely person.