What kind of asshole trademarks his nickname for his penis?

Don't praise the machine.

I thought he was thinner, but I went back and he was hiding behind a podium the entire time.

I can't understand how an eyeball isn't an eyeball(not to mention any pertinent data available on any given eyeball) and how ad rates don't match up.

Damn, I was hoping for a superhero with hammers instead of hands, sponsored by Craftsman.

So you are going with the giant robot, then?

Well, if I was going to live out my life as a schnook, I would for hope it to be as Steve Martin.

Are you saying you killed Jimbo, processed his carcass and served him for lunch?

Perhaps Harmon and Chase aren't the irredeemable rascals the media paints them to be.

Pensive Lenny won an argument against Annie Edison!

What kind of teacher would talk to a student like that?

Imagine if she was consistently successful? Britta as a competent anarchist…that's some darkest timeline thinking there, bro.

They wait a day to release shows on the website, I've heard all the arguments and I think it's bullshit. I don't know, dvr or something?

I don't consider season 4 a puff of smoke. I think it gave Harmon a chance to recharge his batteries and work on his chops in front of an audience with the whole podcast/tour thing. I'm hoping this season gets a recharge too, this looks like a good start.

If not Chang, who will be the big bad this season?

It's an interesting misdirect. With Pierce, it would have gone into a light-hearted hallucination gag. Absolutely brutal.

Kevin Corrigan was fantastic. His take on Professor Sheffield *pause* was one of the highlights of the episode.

Well, of course, the hologram is twitchy. If it was all smooth and colored correctly, it would just look like him.

Is there any reason Fox picks up a show like Brooklyn 99? I've got to imagine that it must have been pitched to NBC.

*GRABS PITCHFORK AND JOINS MOB RIOT/FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER IN THE AVCLUB CAFETERIA*