Can't go. Busy. Gotta buy lots and lots of guns.

Don't care for Chicago burbs either (though Standard Market is the greatest grocery store I've ever been to).

Unless you were born/raised and still reside in a log cabin outside of Waukesha, you've met band-wagoners. They exist and are a part of every successful team's fanbase … and that's fine.

Pete Rozelle is a huge reason for the NFL's current success.

I think we have different definitions of "bandwagon fans."

If I hear the phrase "BACK YARD FOOTBALL" one more time, I'm going to drink bleach.

[triggered]

"I've never met a band wagon Packers fan."

Uh, I'd also like to express my fondness for that particular dong-flopping fight scene.

Look … if you want to sex shame someone, it's gotta involve a horse. Catherine the Great still hasn't been able to shake that myth.

Or, conversely, completely hijack an episode and turn it into a vanity project (see: Gaga, Lady).

Someone tell that livestream panel to shut up. I'm watching Rick and Morty here.

I'm remaining cautiously optimistic as well (still only December … and, yes, Blackhawks be Blackhawkin'). Also, Parise not being 100 percent isn't an immediate concern now, but may be one down the road.

Trying to wonder what it's like having Marvin Lewis as your father …

Can't make any promises. This is the same team that got the shit kicked out of them at home by the Colts last week (Colts aren't terrible, but the Vikes still had a decent shot at the playoffs … it should have at least been closer).

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I'll start the change.org petition …

I'd like to congratulate you guys on your preseason win tomorrow.

That episode would just be Werner and Jerry staring off into space while the dancing chicken music from the end of Stroszek plays on a loop.

Are you possessed by a Youtube comment? Sad.