Well, she's not quite a jew … and she's not quite a bully … but man …

The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley: the Case of the Talented Sister

A major discount retail store would've been classier.

The dancer was unusually interested in the song and wanted to learn more about Chuck Mangione's unique brand of jazz-pop.

Not as funny as you would think.

Went to a friend's bachelor party. Watched him get a lapdance set to Chuck Mangione's "Feels So Good."

I DECLARE MARITIME LAW. GET THE HARPOONS.

[A UC Davis student with blonde dreadlocks nonchalantly pepper-sprays the protesting officers]

Same. Freelancing was bad enough, but I was getting swamped with assignments as if I was a full-timer. Zero time to research anything.

I checked out the C.O.P.S. web site. Contact info below (yes, the coalition representing all police/sheriff departments in the giant-ass state of Texas uses an AOL email address).

Don't give a shit about what's punk/not punk. This band fucking owns.

Dear Internet,

Read This: …

Holy shit! I missed that. As a Wild* fan, that warms my heart.

Let's see …

I've never seen her in anything. I just know her as "that woman who everyone hates for some reason."

From … "The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down the stairs in 'Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?'” … to … "I BOUGHT THOSE MOTHERFUCKING SPONGES!"

Power Rangers turned into a body horror franchise so gradually, I didn't even notice.

"WE WERE SUPPOSED TO SAVE THE PEYOTE FOR ELECTION DAY." - John Teti

Right. I don't see how this is his "fault" when all the details before the actual meet-up seemed plausible.