BUT A CERTIFICATE OF LIVE BIRTH ISN'T A LEGITIMATE BIRTH CERTIFICATE … WAKE UP SHEEPLE … *FARTS*

Even if they had Nick Jonas go full-frontal, I still wouldn't watch this awful show.

"…compared to something like Kevin Costner's accent in Thirteen Days which was just awful."

That should be the fifth stage.

Ho?

Can I have a title? I wanna be "Head Equipment Manager Cocksucker."

As a 49ers and Louisville Cardinals fan, this is an epically awful year for uniforms.

College football truly is the worst.

I come from the future to confirm this reviewers opinion: indeed … this movie sucks.

Every George Lucas movie needs a CGI Short Round.

The man never made a Stallone joke in his life.

It's a more dignified gig than being on Last Comic Standing.

It's what we're known for.

"Alright … y'all sonsabitches won fair-and-square. We'll give up slavery and join back with y'all … BUT we get to name our streets. We also get to treat black folk like shit."

"Goddammit, you idiots took the one good thing about being from Cleveland and you completely fucked it up."

Welcome to Earf, Welcome to Sweden!
— Internet racists

So this is what happens when Tommy Wiseau dabbles in costume design.

THE PEOPLE MUST BE EDUCATED ON OUR ABUNDANCE OF PUBLIC RADIO STATIONS

No snark. I love Doomtree and everything they shill.

Get in line.