All tattoos are uncouth.

All tattoos are uncouth.

That scene in Green Lantern where it's just those two and some other guy sitting around wondering what to do about a giant yellow squid coming to puke all over Earth is the worst scene I've ever sat through in a theater.

That scene in Green Lantern where it's just those two and some other guy sitting around wondering what to do about a giant yellow squid coming to puke all over Earth is the worst scene I've ever sat through in a theater.

You could tell this would happen from the amazing chemistry they had in that film they did.

You could tell this would happen from the amazing chemistry they had in that film they did.

Chicago is real?!?!?!?!

Chicago is real?!?!?!?!

But they rhymed "dark" with "park".

But they rhymed "dark" with "park".

Jessie J's screech-breathing counts as verbal abuse.

Jessie J's screech-breathing counts as verbal abuse.

If my child insisted I take them to see it so I could abandon them there.

If my child insisted I take them to see it so I could abandon them there.

It's a one-and-done theater movie.

It's a one-and-done theater movie.

I shadowed the guy who did the bird noises in the Prometheus trailer and the lousy fuck didn't even give me a reference.

I shadowed the guy who did the bird noises in the Prometheus trailer and the lousy fuck didn't even give me a reference.

Maybe some of them got jobs making sexy girl-ladies that do backflips and owls.

Maybe some of them got jobs making sexy girl-ladies that do backflips and owls.