Metal Church?

Wendell Rules OK.

They avoided hundreds of tired plot devices.

This is, hands-down, the all-time greatest holiday entertainment ever conceived, executed, and delivered. I love it sincerely and without even the tiniest hint of irony, and would literally punch another person—man, woman or child—in the face over it. You are either down with Emmet Otter, or I do not like you Sam I am.

I'm actually happy to see Engrish making a comeback as the Chinese manufacturing economy goes ballistic and cheap imported crap floods our markets like never before. For a while there, it seemed like everyone had finally hired good translators, and all the fun was gone.

So I'm the only one who grew up hanging out with a bunch of delinquents at the local Super Pedestal Ball Hall?

If they homeless kids, how they gonna take 'em HOME?

Alvin and the Chipmunks XXX: Chipmunks Fucking.

From Wikipedia: "It is used commercially in foods requiring a natural emulsifier or lubricant."

I am almost 100% sure I've never even heard of this.

In other news, Korn's Jonathan Davis believes there is such a thing as the Illuminati, because he read that book that one time.

What I remember is my dad getting all pissy about it because it took the materialistic aspect of Christmas to such an extreme. "These children in this hospital WILL FUCKING DIE unless they get a bunch of cool toys and shit."

I mean, it wasn't that the Vid was a hipster joint per se (this is about ten years ago we're talking), but more of a weird blend of Spock rockers and complete scum-asses. You had some hipsters slumming it, but sometimes you couldn't tell the difference. You'd be sitting next to someone who looked like GG Allin, but…

I lived in the Bloomington area for the first 25 years of my life or so. Nice place, insofar as it almost always offers cultural activities that are NOT "hanging out at a shitty bar and drinking too much beer" (although I put in my year or two of rotting at the Video Saloon, too).

"…that reads like that one fat girl from high school's shitty fan fiction."

Admit it: you saw "The Descendants" and you started to go "FUCK YEAH!" until you saw it was spelled "-dAnts," too.

That kinda shit'll land ya in the Red Zone, son.

And poop holds the tent wher it is…

The Psychic Fern peered over the edge of the Circle…that cursed border that had for too many years…decades, in fact…held it in its thrall, thwarting its black, dastardly schemes. The Fern paused for a moment and made its final leap, formless void to formless void. Freedom…at long last, freedom. Its time had come…its…

Actually, they're in Uncle Roy's custody now.