So do I. Also, if you're avatar and name are an elaborate Grim Fandango joke, I love it.

Bold.

I'm into Minnie Driver because of her gigantic head. Also, because of a little seen movie she did called High Heels and Low Lifes

Bravo

Oh man. Shit is getting LITIGIOUS. (Try that one, smart guy.)

The very existence of Gwen Stefani was important. See also, Manson, Shirley.

Hahahaha, good god. You're a legend.

I didn't realize I had a "type" until I thought about the women I liked on TV. Once I drew a line between Elaine Benes, Nanny Fine and Lilith Sternin-Crane…well, it was like the end scene of The Usual Suspects only Keyzer Soze turned out to be "sharp-tongued Jewish women"

I will confess to having watched the video for "Let Me Blow Ya Mind" by Eve and Gwen Stefani way more than anyone who actually likes music should, all for strictly visual reasons.

Kanye devoted a good third of his fortune so far toward establishing a real life version of the radio station from Demolition Man.

FOILED AGAIN.

As Mariahs Carey are wont to do

Now I just want to start a record label called "ADEQUATE Recordings," but I'm getting real hung-up on the asinine backronym that these things apparently require in hip hop.

"I had to help him pass his driver's test, and man…he was a real asshole about it."

Oh, no…someone did. Someone in their adolescence watched the video to "Heartbreaker" and immediately thought, "Ohhhhhh, girls. I…I get this now. This all makes sense."

This is one of those grifts you can only pull off once. He's pulling a burn on this one.

He has to support his idiotically named children, man. And if that means light insurance fraud, SO BE IT.

Mariah Carey's…breasts? Not her vocal cords, or her legs, or anything that has to do with her ability to perform?

Taylor Swift would like a word with you, Mr. and Coke

Call me when it's a production of True West with Sherman Helmsley and Reginald VelJohnson