Yeah, and what about those guitars that are, like, double guitars?

This Lou Reed character seems like a bit of a curmudgeon!

I find his constant references to 90s techno acts to be most puzzling. Do people in South Asia still listen to The Prodigy and Crystal Method?

She mistakes him for Tracey Chapman. That's some brutal self-deprecation right there.

I can't agree with Klosterman's oft repeated contention that Appetite for Destruction is the greatest and most important work of music in the history of the world ever but Fargo Rock City is a fun read.

Ooh! I hope there's an exciting RC car chase!

Is your real name Rene Belloq?

Well they're doing a lousy job. Travolta could've used the power of invisibility while prowling all night gyms for fresh meat.

Xenu is their BAD GUY. They don't want to please him! Sheesh. How many times do I have to tell you people?

That picture looks like Snap and Crackle after Pop went solo.

Well, the hairdo is reminiscent of Lea Thompson in Howard the Duck…

No.

It was the most potently distilled black rage that the ninth grade creative writing program at Woodrow Wilson High in Dubuque Iowa had ever seen.

If terminating unwanted pregnancies in the first trimester is cool…consider me Miles Davis!

He makes up for it by boasting both the most annoyingly grating voice and personality in the history of mankind.

Relax. It will come and go from theaters in a matter of weeks and be promptly forgotten. Remember the remake of the Omen with Julia Stiles, Amityville Horror with Ryan Reynolds, Evil Dead with nobody, Nightmare on Elm Street with the delinquent from Bad News Bears, or The Thing with Scott Pilgim's girlfriend? …

I thought the Ladyboy was a drink invented by Alan Partridge.

Shoegaze is great. Don't drag Kevin Shields into this.

))<>((

If only real tanks shot bullets that ping-pong off of walls…