I like Culvers. They sell cheese curds and have a map of Wisconsin on their placemats. When I am in exile from the great white north I can always count on Culvers.

No way. Unitarians are a bunch of NPR style liberals in oatmeal sweaters. They make Episcopalians look cool.

The Sistine Chapel is nice.

They got lost on their way to the hotcake eating contest at the sugar shack and stumbled into a scene of intrigue!

I hope Crystal doesn't use that pancake makeup cleavage-centric avatar shot for her Christian Mingle profile. Kirk would not approve of such bawdiness.

Have you ever heard of this guy called Priapus?

The City of Lights it is!

That's funny because my early love of Duran Duran didn't lead me to Keats of Renoir but to yachts, cocaine, and Czechoslovakian supermodels.

RAVISHING!

So THAT'S what did Kurt in!

For the sake of all, let us pray that it goes no further…

The best thing about Congo was that cool tie-in plastic watch with an angry gorilla face on it that I got from Taco Bell.

After resurrected Jesus went to India to hang out with the Buddha but before he went to America to scatter around gold plates for Joseph Smith to find.

Remember that book about how China discovered America? It was cut to ribbons by real historians but, shockingly, remains hugely popular in China.

I find Marc Maron unappealing for similar reasons. Autobiographical navel gazing is less appealing when it is shot through with self regard rather than undercut by self deprecation. Also, being funny helps.

I gave this column a shot. Her narcissism is a bit much and leaves me with a yucky taste in my mouth. I believe that I am done with it now.

Thanks, that sounds nice!

Why is there an unavoidably large amount of "inside baseball" type stuff about stand-up comedy on the internet? Is it Marc Maron's fault? Let's talk about something else. Anybody know what to do with fresh figs? I need some recipes.

Maaaayor! I LIKE the sound of that!

Hardcore physics indeed! According to the internet the Nolan brother earned multiple PhDs in astrophysics as background research for his co-writer credit on a movie where Matthew McConaughey goes into space to look for corn on behalf of Michael Caine.