So it will never be finished!

"Ralph, I can't I—it hurts!"

Hrrrr. Let me get out my handy 'ol Sharpe solar powered calculator and punch in a few of those numbers. Hmmmm, let me see, the results seem to indicate OH MY GOD, this equation mathematically proves that life has no purpose and that we should bow before Trump for all eternity! NoooOOoooOOOooOOoO!

Right? The whole segment did for IT what Eli Roth does for all his stupid torture porn 'movies' where your only choices are between a sadistic murderer and a bigger sadistic murderer. Yay for options? Ugh.

39 comments and not one rib about how Mcgregor looks like a(n even more) coked up Matthew McConaughey. Proud of you people.

Well, Boll apparently knows how to convince people to eat German food. A remarkable talent even if they are Canadians.

I read that the production team wanted to suggest just how old the creature was by having its clown form look more antiquated than Curry's version. More harlequin than howdy doody.

Well, the turtle was nice, at least.

I mean, it looks interesting, but I don't know if Mcgregor's accent for either of his characters is going to work for me. They might have overreached with that casting.

I want to make a sarcastic joke about how no one yiffs with spiders, but I have in fact seen a CGI Japanese cartoon of a woman having a threesome with spiders, so the only obvious conclusion is that there's no god and everything we do is a futile struggle against the calamitous indifference of the void.

The miniseries was scary (for its time) but it wasn't in-depth when it came to the nastier elements of King's story (being broadcast television and all.) This remake looks like it's going to go ankle deep in the muck and horror. I mean, they're doing the Patrick Hockstetter side story. Fucking gross.

That's biology at work. We're a cooperative species, so the idea of allowing children of any kind to suffer is unthinkable to a person who isn't insane.

Oh, my god. Lorne Malvo would have convinced Barry to shoot himself in the face with a nail-gun within a month.

Oh my god, I forgot Young Justice was coming back! YeeeeeeeeeeeAH!

I liked Riley. I didn't learn that the fandom despised him until years after the show ended and I owned my own computer. It was shocking!

Or the partner that Abra killed was her world's Cisco. Wait, scratch that, he would have mocked Cisco. Or maybe he wouldn't have. I don't know, these writers are so inconsistent.

No worries, Mon El is doomed. They're pushing him on us this much to surprise us when he dies saving Kara from his mom.

The botched landing was unexpected. It's like 60's Batman and Robin leaping for their fire polls and plummeting to their deaths. Or a pro wrestler hitting the ropes and breaking an arm.

She was so grim, though! Stephanie would have been way snarkier.

I wonder what her vigilante name was? Miss Fire? Overbotch? Ador Kable? The girl with the Draggin' ankle?