For the same reason you need to know that the only bagel that can fly is a plain bagel.

Was he from Quebec? Those fucking contrarians.

Dude, small towns suffer more than anyone from corporatization. Being small, means having a smaller pool of customers, meaning a huge chain like Subway or Taco/KFC-zza hut can easily put the local eateries on the defensive by offering food at prices that can't be competed with. It's not that Dairy Queen and Subway…

Don't make jokes! This is a real opportunity to hold Subways' horrific genetics lab to account for their hideous offenses against nature. That soy chicken hybrid that their German division came up with, spends all four days of its short life screaming in agony and begging wordlessly for the sweat release of death. …

It's disappointing for me, because I genuinely like Kara's characterization; an upbeat idealist being a disapproving moral purist just doesn't vibe for me, not only because that opens her up to legitimate concerns about personal hypocrisy, but also because it's so against her personality. It's just like the Wynn and…

What's the password to Forrest Gump's gmail?

Q: How many south Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

What does "I moved in on her like a bitch," even mean? That's like saying "I got fucked like a bitch." Which is not something anyone ever says. I mean, it's funny that his syntax is as bad in private as it is in public, but I still have trouble processing his intent.

Jessica Henwick is soooo attractive. I'm in that weird place where I can't tell if every backshot of her is exploitative or if she's just that hot.

Marley was bad. Her mom was an overweight lunch lady and all the kids were mean about it, so it lead to sad girl songs about having an overweight mom and being poor. Ryan Murphy is such a manipulative hack.

I gotta say, Kara looking down on Daxam is pretty hypocritical, considering what her family tried to do to earth last season. There's also that whole thing about her mom covering up Krypton's unstable core which lead to the explosion that ruined Daxam. It's funny how that's never come up. "Wait, so your mom's…

The woman I love won't immediately express affection for me after that season I spent murdering and raping her friends…guess I'll go kill her brother and see if that helps.

The central conceit of the episode (Kara feels BETRAYED! Mon-El LIED to her!) was so annoying. Doesn't Kara lie to everyone else everyday when she pretends she isn't Supergirl? Isn't Lena her new bestie? Would she feel that great if she knew that Kara was pretending to be two different people around her all the…

I really like his voice. It's always so—peppy. It's the best thing about his performance.

Please do!

I wonder who Ashi is? Guess I'll google it. Oh, neat! A fan wiki. Begins browsing Ashi's Samurai Jack fan wiki article.

Noooooooope. Daredevil had intensity, Luke Cage had style, and Jessica Jones had—well, I don't know what it had, I didn't like it very much. But Iron Fist is just meh and suggesting that you'd have to be a hipster to dislike it is a petty misdirection. They're burying all the cool stuff under all this boring real…

It's not gay if conventionally attractive girls have sex, because we all know they're doing it to get attention from guys.

Oh, don't spoil for yourself! The payoff is worth it.

The red ranger who saw red everywhere.