Huxley: Archives are located in the McFarlane Presidential Library—

It's articles like these that show me just how out of touch I am. I don't know who the fuck any of these people are, and I can't figure out why I should care.

This is your chance to repent, Opie
Get Mads Mikkelsen in there as Roland. He's tall, pale, badassed, talks weird and looks like he'd kill someone as soon as save them. Obviously, you have time.

Google Translate: works 60% of the time… every time.

"Runaway" by Bon Jovi
That damned keyboard solo has been taking up valuable retail space in my head since about 1985; yet another thing to blame Jersey for.

The Kevorkian bio was pretty outstanding. But I would say he hasn't had a really good "Pacino" performance since maybe The Recruit…?

I'm not sure why I keep thinking it's the Nestle Quik Bunny. Could be because I'm dumb, but I don't think that's the reason this time.

I loved it too and still have the original video tape from when I was a kid. Guess I can toss that, finally.

All I wanted was a Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me!

I will defend Running Scared to the death. That's the only Paul Walker-starring film to earn that distinction, by the way.

Baseball was good, Comics were better
Baseball cards were good for making money, not much else. The comics cards were where my heart truly lay. Had the first two series of X-Men cards including the first set illustrated by Jim Lee, and four series of Marvel cards complete with the Spider-Man vs. Venom true 3D hologram…

He has three fingers on each hand and looks like a blond version of The Crow.

Only vaguely on topic, but
I just want to say, the Wonder Man comic was pretty awesome. Egotistical uperhero moonlighting as a Hollywood stuntman/actor? Writing replete with snark and meta-commentary? Awesome powers and burning red eyes? Yes sir, it was a good time in the early '90s. Also, it made for a perfect…

Stop trying to make that a thing!

I Got The Six, Gimme Your Nine.

"Harrison Ford's effortless charisma." Shit, you wanna talk about a long-lost artifact…

Believe me, we have all these high-minded ideas about what we're going to let our kid watch and consume. And that still might happen; she's only a shade under two, it's a bit early for Kurosawa, wouldn't you say? But right now it's all about funny noises and big dumb movements. So hey, if Jim Carrey farting on a…

Submit to the corporate overlords
These days, calling out Hollywood for greenlighting projects such as these is like admonishing Charlie Sheen for sleeping with porn stars and snorting blow. It's like, what's the point?

Free Lemmiwinks, oppressor!

It's alright, DPA. I laughed.