I always make the obvious picks
"Sleepwalk" by Santo & Johnny.

Penises sometimes do get bigger with age, yes.

I've loved the O'Neal newswires from the start. He was a terrific improvement over ol' whats-er-name. True, I now see that his hair looks like a well-used toilet brush, but he's damned good at what he does.

BILL BRASSKY!!!!

Yeah, really. I get a bit tired of these wet blanket, overanalyzing SNL reviews.

John Wayne was a horrible fuckin' person overall, but had a wonderful screen personality, which is all that matters, right?

Normally I'd be up in arms about this
but it's been that kind of day, so fuck it. Bring on the 2pacalypse, I don't give a fuck.

I'm going to qill you if you don't stop.

William Hjortsberg's "Nevermore"
I was wondering if this Newswire might be announcing an adaptation of that fine novel, but when you have a scene where Houdini gets penetrated with a dildo filled with warm milk, I guess it limits the box office appeal.

Two Items
1. The would-have-been-great Easy Rawlins film series starring Denzel and Don Cheadle that never materialized after Devil in a Blue Dress.

This… IS THE EMBIGGENING!

Oh, "Fringe" is starting to get popular?
Well, guess it's time to start handing out the C's and D's, then.

True story
The link to the interview about the Wolverine sequel was wayyyy more interesting than anything else in this Newswire story.

Jesus H Christ
Four pages in and nobody has brought up Springsteen? I know it seems so obvious as to be not worth mentioning, but if you're gonna throw U2 in there, you really ought to bring up the guy whose concerts have long been described as "rock 'n roll church" (in the good way).

I can't have this same debate again, so I'm just going to jettison the logical arguments and skip right to the hyperbolic dismissal: Superman is A) awesome, B) better than Batman, and anyone who doesn't recognize those facts is C) completely fucking stupid.

If by free, you mean "slowly bartering the prime years of your life for the occasional reluctant hummer and accompanying glare of contempt from the woman to whom you're engaged," then *sigh* I get mine for free.

Why not take the premise to its logical conclusion
and just kill all of them?

Yeah right, next you'll tell me that SyFy is a stupid name for a channel. Pshaw.

I'd say Palin, but only because she seemingly has no other function besides her MILFness. I like Tina Fey too much as a human being to subject her to being my wank fodder. Now Michelle Malkin, THERE'S some neocon jerking fuel for you.

When I clicked on the NSFW link in the article and saw that picture, I was reminded of the ending of Men in Black where the POV expands through the boundaries of the universe until we find it's ultimately just a marble in some alien kid's bag…