That was soothing. I'm totally soothed right now.

Reaper, hell yes! Could always do with more of Ray Wise as the Devil.

Elvis Again
I would have loved to have Elvis around a little longer. The 80s would have been terrible for him, of course, much as the late 70s were, but i would have loved for him to survive into the new millennium just so he could make one of those inevitable Rick Rubin "back-to-basics" albums and remind all fools…

Seconded on Brandon Lee, twenty-seventhed (?) on Firefly.

Truly, this thread was the large hadron collider of the AV Club. Alas, the universe didn't explode and we're all still here.

Lars would be the one to intentionally kick a kid in the face, I think. I could see that. Kirk's just an impressionable young girl.

Forget it, Immaculate, it's Metallica-town.

Purple Chick all the way.

An America without Palin
I want to go to there.

Does Call of Duty have the Golden Gun? No? Then I say checkmate to you, good sirs, N64 Goldeneye still rules.

Manly men need not apply
I work in a traditionally female profession, I'm a better cook than my wife, she's handier with power tools than I am. Am I the target audience for this show?

Best dog actor: the husky in The Thing. There's probably a way to train dogs not to look at the camera during stationary shots, but during a dolly shot? That's fucking impressive.

I declare this stealth firstie a rousing success.

Nothing short of a vanilla dutch will ease the pain of this atrocity.

Or I might have heard somebody say that while I was driving across the Walt Whitman, I don't remember.

"Fuck all of you Philly-hating sons of bitches." - Walt Whitman

Props to Dumblebore for changing it up a little bit. I love Lebowski as much as anyone but Jesus Christ does it get quoted a lot on here.

It's official
The best recurring article on this whole site.

Dear Steven Tyler
When Kid Rock starts to call you out on acting like a fool, it's time to reassess some shit in your life.

But there WAS a bay-bee, Si-yid.