Are you sure YOU'RE not Dracula?

HAing at Saint Peter, blowing smoke rings in the faces of angels.

Actually, it was "one of my best friends is (yawning pause while the sludge he calls a brain cycles through every slur he would normally use before finding the tv friendly) black."

You could see it coming, and it no way lessened the fun.

Someone introduced me to the Magic trailer a few months ago and I don't think I'll ever forgive them.

I confess that the thing that has most recently terrified me is The Glitch thing from V/H/S. For a while, when I took the garbage out at night, I had to tell myself that he wouldn't be out there because it wasn't his turf.

"I OBJECT!"
"Mr. Rosen, on what grounds?"
"….Uh, poetry recitation?"
(If you get that without Googling, we are instant BFF's.)

At least you made a profit! I donated my collection to my fourth grade class once they rolled out that one with the evil sponge. The magic was gone.

I am pleased, even if demographically, I am irrelevant.

I bet if anyone else so much as touches that throne, their hand gets burned.

You must excuse me, I've grown quite wearuh.

LLLLIIIIIEEEEESSSSSS.

No wonder mom enjoys the brown liquors.

:hurls broom in fury, broom wedges in wall:

Goddammit, I didn't know that last bit. I already want to go Build A Bear, I can't possibly add this. Can I?

It works on so many levels!

The AV Club
Just let him kill himself so I can go home and watch TV

"Are you looking at me because I'm gay?"
"No, we're looking at you because THERE IS NO WAY NOT TO."

Incorrect! The biggest plot twist in PLL history is the creepy twin girls turning out to be a little person and her (presumably) daughter.
A M A Z I N G.

And their kids all meet in the group therapy sessions put together by a doctor who notices how many of his patients have been scarred by their parents' relentless retellings of their youthful fuckathons.