Can't take credit—it's Elvis Costello's parody.

I'm sorry, but there's no reason to play this tonight
I walked into a bar, Bret was standing there. He looked disinterested. I took some more cocaine. He didn't look any better. I had another vodka. The vodka didn't make me feel any happier, so I switched on MTV. I wanted to fuck Blaine, but Blaine didn't want…

Yeah, seriously, this feature is almost always good, and you can have people other than actors in it.

The weird thing is that it doesn't feel especially dated, even though it's ten years old and whatserface was in it. How have those actors' careers been since Memento?

MGS2 was when I realized that I'd really prefer my games to be games and nothing but. Imagine how awesome it would have been if there had been no cutscenes and twice as many interesting levels. Imagine if you'd had access to the whole clean-up plant!

(…) and those handsome Vampires all in black and robes like kings asking you to sit down in their little bit of a castle and Ronda with the old windows or the wolfsbane glancing eyes a lattice hid for her lover to kiss her neck and the stations half open at night and the candelabra and the night we missed the boat at…

Yeah, Cusack's sudden maturity in that movie is pretty glaring, but I guess it's a happier movie as-is than it would be if it were about how Cusack is a broken man doomed to live alone, and hey, you can't let the audience leave a romantic comedy (or dramedy or whatever the hell High Fidelity is) depressed.

Let's face it: Dead Poets' Society is ruined the second we see that flag with the word TRADITION on it.

And Adaptation's third act has a lot of the problems found in movies with bad third acts, except that Adaptation is self-conscious about them.

Man, K&C really did peter out in the last act. I was willing it along for a while, but after finishing it, I forgot all about that long denouement. Now I've remembered it again and I like the book a little less.

The whole movie's good. It's one of my favorites. I suspect the OP was joking about the "third act" (first act) giving everything away before anything even happened.

Now that *no one* is reading this, thanks for the point, Anon. I could have either stated that better or left it unsaid.

Also, The Book of the New Sun is awesome. The narrator lies, and lies, and lies, throughout the entire series. It's supposed to be the memoir he's writing after becoming an emperor.

You could do worse than Franz Kafka, Jorge Luis Borges, and Donald Barthelme. You've probably already heard of them, but it doesn't hurt to mention them in this context, particularly Borges.

Don't be absurd.

Damn, dude, only 50 pages? I love Pushkin, too, but when Dostoevsky has such a towering reputation you have to give him more than 50 pages.

Man, and I was so excited about seeing (well, fine, queueing) one of the best war movies ever made. Thanks a LOT, Bucky.

Your theory sounds like it wouldn't be out of place next to "the sidekick from 'Brick' is really the main character's internal monologue! Why else don't we see anyone else talking to him?"

NPH and tits!

Strangest cognitive dissonance of my life (fortunately): a pair of girls saying how hot some dude or other (maybe Norton? Haven't seen the movie) was when he was curb-stomping some dude. One of them was Jewish.