I haven't seen Whiplash yet, I assume that's a spoiler for the part where Simmons forces all his students to get teardrop tattoos

Are you related to J.K. Simmons? Was he your inspiration for Voldemort because he kinda looks like him? Was J.K. Simmons born without a nose? Sorry, 3-part question.

Show us that micropenis, Yeezy!

Well yeah I know that but he should've

There's like 50 jokes about lawyers in this here comment section and 0 jokes about the shark having a wardrobe malfunction, wtf people

Best talk show ever. Totally lost it at Pally's impression of Regis Philbin in Bangkok Dangerous.

Judging by the stupid amount of appearances from famous people, the audience cheering during this thing is going to be deafening.

Also, like Ben Affleck in Gone Girl, there will presumably be side-dong.

I can totally see Milhouse doing that.

I feel like people who meet on Tinder should get married on a tiger preserve.

Bring on the hot chicks 'cause I'm a hot stud.

At first he seemed sorta reasonable but then he went on his anti-judgement tirade and came off as an oversensitive dickhead, good riddance bring back Male Stacy

See ya Jeremy, don't let your dildo get stuck in the door on your way out

I was so worried that the episode was going to end without a LaVondrius appearance but then he showed up and he was goddamn QUESTLOVE I almost cried

Condifent Ben was truly magnicifent.

This movie's gonna be dumb but if it has a pie chart half as sexy as the one up there I might have to check it out. Though i'll probably just wait until someone posts screencaps of it on FiveThirtyEight

"Meninist" aka proof that men's right's activists don't give a shit about men's rights and merely exist to throw tantrums over feminism.

When I was a kid I heard a story about a girl a few grades above me who got her period in front of class and I thought "I really hope that doesn't happen to me!" I am boy.

Supposedly there's tons of ass-play in it.

Really starting to think he wasn't playing a character in Something's Gotta Give. I wonder how many girls have had to stop him mid-banging to take his blood pressure.