12 and dying? Now you've gone and reminded me of my girlfriend ;_;

"Ain't bad" is a fair assessment. There's some good stuff in there, but for every joke that lands there are five groan-worthy clunkers that would've been cut from fucking Reaper.

Björk, Björk, Björk
- The Swedish Chef

Man, after that CBB episode I have a really hard time not mentally adding the prefix "pulled" whenever I see her name. Not that I mind.

Nice? I found that line very predatory, but maybe I shouldn't read stuff like that into a children's cartoon.

A wizard princess did it.

Oh, well, us mere mortals could not possibly expect to be blessed with a work of such divine genius as Grandma's Boy twice in one lifetime.

I haven't seen that one, but I like that the most popular post on its IMDB message board is titled "how did the fish in the bong not die?" Says it all, really.

But enough about my penis.

@avclub-b49ebc5e771d216bfd346a5d434e6975:disqus You don't belong there.

There was a time when we cared whose pig it was, and why it was squealin'.

If that list is chronological, I can clearly see the progression of emotion in your movie choices. You get a little cute and giddy with Amelie, and choose to quench the quirk with the clinical ramblings of Loose Change. Things get TOO dour, so you counterbalance with Care Bears. The bears get you frisky, so you jack…

Smoking a J beforehand or not, sitting at your desk under fluorescent office lights stone cold sober seems to be no way to enjoy a movie like this. Though sometimes weed can make a terrible movie worse; I had a full-blown panic attack when a friend made me watch White Chicks stoned out of my mind.

They instituted a "no drugs"-policy after the O'Neal-bot blew a fuse jackin' on in the bathroom.

Andy Rooney! We thought you were dead! You sure curse a lot more online than you ever did on TV, though.

Man, the amount of turgid stoner "comedies" I saw back when I was a weed-smoking college student. In my defense, it was usually my peers who pushed these turds on me; but God, I've seen them all. How High, Grandma's Boy, Jay and Silent Bob, Without a Paddle…along with full-season marathons of Weeds, for some reason…

I meant beat him up.

"Douchebags are hygenic products. I take that as a compliment."
- Chris Brown

R. Kelly's "Trapped In The Closet (So I Keep Walking Into The Door)"

I wanted to see him pound Chris Brown's ass.