Well, Ben was only accused of rape twice. What NFL QB hasn't found themselves in that oddly specific type of hot water… twice? And Harrison merely broke down a door to get to his girlfriend's cell phone so he could smash it as she called 911. But he went to anger management for that, so it's basically like it…

Roethlisberger went to college in the area. He's twice been accused of rape, and there are countless tales of his inflated sense of entitlement and general sleaziness from his days in Oxford. All the same, had his injury come before the intentional, blindside headshot to the smallest Bengal on the field, I'm…