Jimminy-Christmas, Mary Mother full of Grace, watch yer mouf!

I will hope for this if somehow Hillary gets indicted and Sanders takes the nomination. Otherwise I'll hope for Trump as it's *shudder* … the better option.

Firstly, I very clearly stated that it was sloppy.

… That's fucking ridiculous when the much, much better "Let the slutty stripper go" or, the slightly more sloppy and tongue-tie-y, "Let the nutty professor go" are right there for the taking. I mean, seriously. What a heathen.

The only television I own is simply for my VHS player. I actually found about a month ago that it had evidently been left on for about three weeks or so because somehow I forgot to turn it off after watching a Disney movie with my nephew. (It was Aladdin, 'cos I love Aladdin.)

… [continuing the conversation] …

The only cup I drink out of is my Special Edition McDonald's Schindler's List plastic cup!

I had to stop following my nose because I kept getting nosebleeds.

I'll say this here as it's as good as anywhere. I've never typed these words before. Or, if I did, I was totally black out drunk (which … happens … a lot).

I don't really agree with your first sentence. That's making a pretty heavy judgment on what is or is not morally acceptable, and with a phone no less. There are, of course, very black and white things—being an asshole playing music on your phone in any place where people can't escape it, where they're trying to…

AV Club commenters: I've never been proud of you guys before, but this morning I almost am. I woke up and, when I remembered my comments here, half-expected backlash at telling the AV Club that they're shitheads, as sometimes it seems like doing something like shitting all over a white guy just because he's a white…

"Whoa whoa whoa, Sam, hold on a second. Did you just shit all over a guy because he was invited to a council predominantly made up of women simply because he's a guy and it's a gender equality board? Really? Hey, guys, check Sam out! He's gonna do juuuuuuuuuust fine!"

Edited to say: You guys are stupid.

Holy fucking FUCK YOU AV Club. Jesus fucking Christ.

Requisite vintage Simpsons quote:

I love comic books, comic book movies and animation. And like any rationally thinking human being, I loathe Batman V Superman.

I've always wondered why adults thought it was OK to play any Nintendo game, ever.

I'm assuming from the fact that you know she was in it that you didn't actually see it but, rather, heard or read about it elsewhere. If you'd seen it, you'd probably have no recollection of it because to watch it is a trial in omfgymiwatching omfogmaodfjaklsdf;j.

Holy SHIT … Hey, Universal, I found your new Frankenstein's Monster! Perry Farrell!

What? No, the poison gas Pokemon is WAYYYY more tasteless/funny.