Yeah, the "sputtering incoherence" is what I remember most about this show.

OLD LADY ALERT:

"Never, in twenty-five years of script development, have you blown me first, Joe."

(Some kind of pee-drinking man-fish joke here. Just can't fit it with Princess Diana…)

As is Roman Polanski's "My Little Pony" redux.

Oh my gosh, I SO want that! shirtless Mark Antony, tortured Pompey, and Cato of Utica waving his ass at everyone across a battlefield. Take that, Ridley Scott!

Well, what ARE you looking at?

Is that gum just photoshopped on?

(response saying but yeah that pointed-tit thing was out there back in the day.

Hell, I'm going to DO it. I think it involves a curling iron heated carefully on a cozy hearth.

I'm interested, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

He is an example of an ATTRACTIVE OLDER MAN, certes!

ILLUMINATI !

"Ugly burned taint"?

One of my favorite things about this movie is Stallone's awareness of his screen persona. I think it rates with his best work.
Oh, and buns.

I expected Stallone to comment on his obviously freezer-burned genitalia.

Adler?
(puts on sunglasses)
I don't even know her

I think that first song she did - I Wanna Dance With Somebody - showed some genuine joy and exultation in her own talent. She just seemed to enjoy it, despite the terrible hair extensions. After that, you are right.

Oh come on. ADMIT Perlman was kind of awesome in that.

Lucas killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?