As long as they get Lexi Alexander to direct at least one episode.

The AV Club: "allows everyone… to either play to their worst instincts or avert their eyes while skipping through the wreckage."

Whatever you want to say about this movie, it is definitely not Casablanca.

The mere fact that you call it a dang tells me you're not ready.

Let's hope the show makes it to a 15th season.

"There are three 'New Girls' on tonight. Two are new." sounds like the beginning of a riddle.

Don't smoke.

I'd like to enter her Dark Tower with my Horn of Eld.

Who Killed Amanda Palmer?

Let's all be honest, Stephen Merchant is best known for being a butler in that one episode of Modern Family.

Have you been to a puppy parade halfway through? They're basically pointless.

Is this true whether I believe it or not?

The Mountain Goats will be in Kansas City on my birthday, so if anybody is wondering what to get me as a present, I would like a jet ski.

There's only one song on his new album that's worth listening to, and there's only one verse on that song that's worth listening to, and that verse is by Chance the Rapper.

Does Tony Romo keep breaking his collar bones because Chris Christie keeps trying to eat them?

I would make a joke about how she doesn't use condoms, but then I would hate myself.

The invisible hand of the market did! Where's that Goosebumps book?

Damn, that's a good backup plan.

I keep on explaining to my professors that they can't expect me to have assignments done over the weekend when Silicon Valley, Veep, and Last Week Tonight are my priorities.

I'm so excited to see what Big Head will do with $20 million dollars.