Maybe you can be the star of his next film, "Middle Age."

This is just going to lead to more movie theater mix ups where people sit through an entire straight Pride and Prejudice adaptation waiting for the zombies to show up.

But they can only afford Toyota's Jan.

I always wanted to go to Dodger Stadium, it looks so beautiful on TV, like the weather's perfect.

We have comparatively little fear of dishonoring our ancestors with our horrible ceremonial first pitching.

"Home base" is not the preferred nomenclature.

Obviously he's not a golfer.

This is why hyena society has equal pay and equal health care access for the sexes.

From female ghostbusters to female superheros it seems that Hollywood's fear of cooties is slowly fading.

I blame undocumented child immigrants.

"Physical violence is not the answer. Emotional violence is much more effective."

Thank God there's finally a place where hot people can find each other.

Don't let Christian Rudder get to you. You're a good person who deserves all the upvotes you get. Repeat that back. LOUDER!

I'm not familiar with the site, are "uggos" and "buttplugs" official categories of potential mates?

How did you know my whole reason for getting out of bed in the morning? /squints suspiciously

OK Cupid has reached the limits of what anal probing can teach them.

It's always nice to have big heaping pile of contempt for your customers. And to express it out loud.

Can you retire ironically?

Can't Erick Sanchez just do a Kickstarter called "I need attention, everyone look at me"

The Tim Burton ones are my favorite too, but it might just be because I was a kid when they came out.