Or Tony Shaloub. Which would have been amazing because he was in Cars and Wings.

Just think of the good old days, Pepsi Sr. Think of the Pepsi Summer Chill Out. It's like people in tight pants moving fast.  Or Cool Cans. "To be cool and be somewhat respectable, pick up Pepsi in this hype receptacle. Cool Cans are comin', so don't be afraid, and if you get lucky, you might get paid."

You can eat sharks. Unless you're allergic, then no, don't eat sharks.

You have much to learn, unfrozen ice man from 1996. Ace of Base broke up. Or maybe not, I don't know. No one cares about Ace of Base. Oh, shit, and 9/11. That's a big one.

I never knew this existed. I've only seen the Disney version, which I love and just rewatched a few months ago when it popped up on Netflix. But when I was younger, I never noticed that Mr. Winkie (hehehe) legally owned Toad Hall after Toad gave him the deed in exchange for a motorcar, but Winkie lied for NO REASON…

This time the Sharknado is over Macho Grande.

I love that on my screen the infograph  declaring "We're the Millers" intolerable is beset on all sides by ads for "We're the Millers" (yeah, yeah, adblock. Well you're missing out on this delicious ironing.)

Does he really have whatever that is where you need those arm things to walk? (As you can see, I'm studying to be a doctor) I only ask because I've seen so many interviews with actors from American shows who suddenly have British accents, and I'm like "What the hell!?" So you never know. It's just part of the magic of…

I laughed at that more than I should have.

Get me a jury and show me how you can say "IN July" and I'll…go down on you.Or make cheese for you. You know, whatever.

Too Much Johnson. Full of country goodness and green pea-ness.

Isn't a jingle supposed to be like 10 seconds long? This is just a straight-up song about Spaghetti Warehouse.  Where do we go from here? I suggest reading the menu items to the tune of Bob Dylan's The Hurricane.

I don't know. As the SNL Mad Tea Party sketch with Steve Buscemi illustrates, there are different kinds of crazy.

We're the most popular cable news channel! That's right, of the tiny fraction of the American public whose homes are equipped with Nielsen Boxes, a tinier still fraction watch cable news. And within that tiny fraction of a tiny fraction, more of those elderly white people watch Fox News than any other cable news…

Sean Young and Randy Quaid in "We're the Crazies* If Anyone Asks"

He had to make an exception to defend guns, but yes, generally gutless cowards are the mortal enemies of neckless morons.

SONS OF POETRYYYYYYY!

Damn you, Walt freaking Whitman!

No problem. The whole movie is on Youtube. It took me forever to find the name of that one. Ever since the internet became a thing, I've been searching for half-remembered movies of my youth. Like you said, it's hard when you don't have much to go on, but here's what I've found over the years. Anyone remember any of…

The Mouse and His Child?