So I'm imagining Orson Welles (or, if I'm being honest, The Brain) saying "So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start
to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When
suddenly I realize 'Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote
for six straight days, and…

I remember bumpers with a guy in a tutu saying "I'm the Staten Island Fairy. Your wish is my command.  Ding!" And I remember Penn Gillette was the voiceover announcer, and every commercial for the first season of South Park ended with him saying "And Kenny dies."

@avclub-39df51c015ce671b473b8cf5a306d217:disqus according to perfunctory search of azlyrics.com I just did, the last line is "Seven years in darkness I can only hope my wish comes true/That one day I'll get you in my hands…AND I'LL PLAY WITH YOU!!" Now, you could argue what is meant by "And I'll play with you" but it…

Toto too?

As long as you're not feeling 22.

He'll probably have to step down after this. He'll be succeeded by his protege, Rapey Ray.

Remember when the guy on the left won the gold medal in gymnastics?

I like Dirty Laundry. It IS interesting when people die. That's why they save that shit for sweeps.

Me too. I was hoping the adorable dogs were humping, providing a literal visual to the lyrics.

I know what it's called. I didn't want pee on my shoes.

I can't imagine the venn diagram of Juggalos who like Jack White (or even know who he is) intersecting at all, but then I just looked up "Juggalo bronies" and of course that's somehow a thing, so who the hell even knows anymore?

Remember, if your Mildly Neurotic Shriner Clown doesn't smile, your dildo is free!

So right now, I'm hearing NIN's "Closer" in my head, but edited like the Kamp Krusty video with Mr. Black.

True. No one should be treated like that, and Dirty Dan or whoever should understand that your public persona should not bleed into your professional business acumen. Hopefully they'll get the message and maybe even pass it on to their idiot fanbase. Still, this story is about as surprising as news that something…

Things haven't been the same since Ass Dan died.

I was going to say they were Los Juggalos, the Juggalo non-union Mexican equivalent, who wear clown luchador masks instead of make up (or maybe over their makeup, like those Spiderman toys that have karate outfits over the Spiderman costume) then I realized it might just be short for "Juggalos." Is that it? Are they…

Yeah, I don't want to sound like one of those "It's your fault for dressing like that" guys, but there's a difference between walking down the street in a revealing outfit and smearing yourself with honey and throwing rocks at a bear.

Letters on their own is one thing, but letters and los? MMFCL*!

Djambi, the chocolate icing!

Your Honor, when I was first hired to work for a place called "Psychopathic Records" where everyone wears clown makeup all day long and the guy in charge is called "Dirty Dan" I had no idea it would end badly.