Let's think of the most absurd profession a guy could have…
What about this: "An odd but gifted poet, Evan Merck (Wes Bentley, American Beauty), makes his living writing suicide notes for the soon-to-be-departed." Yeah! That's fuckin' perfect, man!

What?!

@phel:

Lourdes is a shitty name.
A really, really shitty name.

Dammit, Jorge, even I have standards.

My favorite part is when the young Indian dude wins the million dollars, and then he rips off his wig, and it's really Miley Cyrus.

You know what's a Time Crime? "Valkyrie" stole about two hours of my life.

Hannah Montana: Keeping It Real
FUCK. YES.

And can they testify from inner spirit?
In living, the true gods
Givin' y'all nothing but the lick like two broads.
Got more lyrics than the church got 'Ooh Lords'
And he hold the mic and your attention like two swords.
Or even one with two blades on it—
Hey you, don't touch the mic like it's AIDS on it.

Try loving The Hater. It's like throwing water on the wicked witch.

If I want to see real people on a date
I'll go to a mall food court.

Hey, I was working a bunch of dead end jobs, not making enough money and generally dissatisfied with life. So I decided to enroll in ITT Tech, and now I make more money! I don't tell anyone about the ITT Tech part, though. How fucking embarrassing. Anyway, the end result was terrific and my parents are really proud.

I tried to burn you to death. Who does that?
I loved the humor. But… other than that it seemed kinda like a way to kill a week between big episodes.

No!

I swear to God I saw Billy Bass digging through the trash behind a Jack in the Box. You should have seen the look in his eyes. Terrifying.

Pop.
Smack.
Coke.
Speed.
Smoke.
Huff.
Fornarina.

I need some lube…(FOR MY PUSSY).

I LOVE MY BRICK!

Second "The Story of Everest"
and submit the "Monkey" sketch from Kids in the Hall.

Also, Rabin: no worries, dude. It seems like you've had a shit load on your plate recently.