Nope, this one:

"Autoerotic asphyxiation is preferable to seeing this movie!"

How do I feel about this?  Let me consult my Onion(TM)-branded magic 8-ball iPhone app!

I don't get it.  Why don't the Improv Everywhere participants use the money from their trust funds?

I will bet anyone $10 that Hipster DBag has participated in one of these.

"briefly upend banal reality continue to produce some of the best viral videos and good feelings around"

They will save a lot of money on bicep oil if they buy in bulk.

Ah, that poor beleaguered studio executive, pulling out his hair and crying to the heavens: "You can't fit all that story into one damn movie!!!  We need to take advantage of the efficiencies of a single production schedule and produce TWO intellectually-bankrupt money-printing films for retards!"

One question about this film has tormented me for a good 45 or 50 seconds: will Leonard Nimoy's seminal tune "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" make an appearance?

The notion that John Darnielle doesn't understand real grief is fairly ridiculous to anyone who has heard virtually any of his work.

Come on now, you've never had a girlfriend.

Ah, revisiting it now.  God bless us, every one.

Q: Should I ask Steve to the Sadie Hawkins dance?

The Dawes meme is on the fourth iteration of the Theory of the Nine Rakes.  In another three months, it will become self-aware.

I am chiming in to say that the ads make this show look like an unredeemable pile of excrement.  Are these guys friends of someone famous?  Adam Sandler?

Slow down.  Marilyn Manson is taking notes.

Flat-Broke Junkie Junks Flat.

She's not broke; she just don't pay for shit.

Plus meth.

A good digger?  Like, she can dig out a septic tank?  I wouldn't be defensive about that.  I'd be proud.