How come I can't get no Tang 'round here?

They are too busy listening to their David Hasselhoff records and voting on Eurovision songs to actually know what the fuck is going on.

How may rubber-gimp-suit rapes has Mr. White been involved in?  None?  There's your answer.

No, they really love it.  That's why they haven't caught up on… oh, what's that show? You know, the one with the desert… and all the Mexicans.  "Drug Professor"?  No, that's not it…

I got the sense that the entire *purpose* of the house is to prepare for the coming of the Antichrist.  And there has been a malevolent force guiding everything in that direction.

Shouldn't the ginger kids get jobs clearing scrubs and brush.  Their irrational fury toward vegetation would serve them well.

I've been saying that Lange deserves an Emmy nomination, but I didn't think it was going to happen.  Because, you know… this show.  But is the conventional wisdom that she'll be nominated?

I'm not sure about Connie Britton being in it for the long haul.  Violet's plan seems to be to "free" the ghosts from the house.  I'd imagine she'd start with her mother.  (then maybe Moira)

Fresh placentas.

"What's it to you?!?!"

Yes, I will be watching that.  I want tips for my firstborn son.

We have always been at war with the winner of the Heisman.

Please find an online mortgage calculator, so you can see this may be the dumbest comment you have ever made here.

Those videos are most assuredly not targeted toward the Taiwanese.  They are targeted to underemployed, creative underclass, internet-meme-hunting American douchebags.  Like… uh, me.

I hadn't even heard about this reddit until this post.  When NMA knows about Internet developments before you do, the shark is jumped.

Walls are for closers, Sean.

WTF yo MOMA?  The ghosts are all raping and murdering all over the place.  Did you miss the scene when Tate uses an axe to butcher several young people?  Or when Kate Mara stabbed Constance's lover?

On the upside, you get to wear kickass blazers.

This house probably has fewer Looney Tunes characters stenciled on the walls.

No, no no.  Todd just walked into a door.  Repeatedly.