MENDOOOOOZZZZZZZAAAAAAAA!!!!

Thank you, I thought I was the only one who was freaked out by Kate Mara's nose.  I never noticed it before; I thought it was some sort of make-up special effect.

Hell, Jaden Smith is a bigger movie star than Laurence Fishburne.

Ocean's 12 percent of the American population is of African descent.

Jesus wept.

The gimp suit manufacturers are doing backflips.

The shark will be wearing a latex gimp suit, and it will be fellating a zombie.

"The Real World" has come a long way.  In season 2, David got kicked off the whole show just for pulling the covers off of Tami on her bed.  Now we're up to toothbrush penetration?  In two more years, the RW house will just be a "Hostel"-style sex-torture dungeon.  But on the beach.

http://www.youtube.com/watc…

I would also suggest canceling any plans with Hipster DBag's grandmother.

Yeah, it seems like they should always have someone on set whose sole job is to prevent body cavity penetrations.  A dude with an airhorn and a red blinking light that says "Bad Touch."

Yeah, I was just kidding, that's an old "Loveline" joke.  But in this case, it's both — these guys thought it was a funny prank, but it's still sexual assault.  Like writing "Balls" on your friend's forehead when he's passed out.  But when you get to the genitals, you're gonna be legally liable.

Rape is not a sexual crime.  It's a crime of violence.  It's no different than if I pistol-whipped a liquor store clerk… and then ejaculated on him.

The 1999 Friends Halloween episode was also particularly ribald.

An animated series in which the characters sail into international waters to do whatever they want.  Do I even need to say it?

Wait, so NOT the John Waters film?

They said the same thing about Mama Cass.  But chicken bones always triumph in the end.

I meant TV-fat, not fat-fat.

I had Colonel Mustard in the billiards room.

I will settle for "The Real Guy Whose Mom Will Shoot You."