How else would my heirs know how cool I was?

First thing I buy when I'm "gainfully employed":  offermanwoodshop.bigcartel….

First thing I buy when I'm "gainfully employed":  offermanwoodshop.bigcartel….

Absolutely!  Nicolas Cage is why haiku is still relevant.

Absolutely!  Nicolas Cage is why haiku is still relevant.

This is the test:  Write an essay considering if Fred Willard had been cast as Pierce, and how his arrest would have sealed Dan Harmon as this generation's greatest showrunner.

This is the test:  Write an essay considering if Fred Willard had been cast as Pierce, and how his arrest would have sealed Dan Harmon as this generation's greatest showrunner.

Jean Ralphio is sublime.

Jean Ralphio is sublime.

Most important variable:  Can anyone see me?

Most important variable:  Can anyone see me?

Mute Face of Death would be a great name for an awful band.

Mute Face of Death would be a great name for an awful band.

Some historians believe Whitney was a main cause of the Second Civil War.

Some historians believe Whitney was a main cause of the Second Civil War.

I don't know what to say.  I too would like to hold my father's hand and you guys are awesome and I'm drinking and listening to the Beatles.

I don't know what to say.  I too would like to hold my father's hand and you guys are awesome and I'm drinking and listening to the Beatles.

If someone asked me to push a button and someone will die but you will get money and I didn't bust that fucker right in his fucking mouth and keep busting until he was no longer a plague on humanity then I am not my father's son.

If someone asked me to push a button and someone will die but you will get money and I didn't bust that fucker right in his fucking mouth and keep busting until he was no longer a plague on humanity then I am not my father's son.

I shouldn't have included myself in the mathematics.