I barfed.

Rob Schneider Neighborhooding?

This news article will be the one source of my happiness for the next many months.

Dear God how old is Jay-Z?!

That's one of the most apt metaphors for this feeling I can think of. Where'd you dig that up from?

NICK OFFERMAN I WIN.

Why is it always so dusty?

Well la de da. I'm still paying mine off.

SEAN O'NEAL: NATIONAL TREASURE, HERO

Sigh. That's Comedy Central.

This is an account that never, ever needs an avatar.

Bravo.

Well it's no excuse for sand rudeness!

Oh, so Oswalt runs some sort of small town in a valley? Thanks, Gherkins, that clears everything up!

What the hell is a holler?

It just feels like it's gone, all of it's gone, gone away.

Well his first choice was Detroit.

We gonna talk about this Wanderlust trailer? 'Cause I haven't seen it yet.

This is going to have 1000 likes by the end of the day.

More Whitney ads?! Let's not say things we can't take back!