Yes, it's turtles all the way down.

I think you're forgetting Con Air, a movie with at least five endings, each more outrageous and awesome than the last.

Die Hard: Because A Predator Killed You

I still have never seen the 4th one, simply because I refuse to see a PG13 Die Hard. A man's gotta have standards.

Hey now, that's simply not fair. There were some things Andy Rooney was able to find joy in.

Why do we need labels like "hipster?" Why oh why can't we all just plain hate each other?

Wait for it…

The difference between how good this gimmick is and whatever the fuck the lego gimmick is trying to do is like Springfield and Shelbyville.

MTV now officially stands for "Mmmmm, Television?"

Say what you will about the Dawes jokes, but the phrase "That Laurel Canyon sound" will never, ever, stop being funny.

It's really happening!

It's true, you really can't comment on the quality of Jersey Shore until you've seen every episode ever made.

Everyone's been dead for fifteen seasons.

Maybe Walt gets a cell phone?

But Jose has a degree from Hollywood Upstairs English College!

"To kill a fan… this is the filet mignon of murder."

People are talking about the awful threat of sound-a-likes as if The Simpsons is a brand yet untarnished.

Led Zeppelin, for example.

DAWGS

That headline, sir, is a mouthful.